4 words: hood of his car
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
