Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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