thus making me awesome and them whores
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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