I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
