i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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