i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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