Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
