You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize