All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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