I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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