Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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