i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
