Can i not drive my cunt home
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
