Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
