Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
