I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
