i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
