Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
