id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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