Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
