Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
