you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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