She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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