we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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