I must be too annoying 4 u.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
