Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
