Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
