Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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