We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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