elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
