I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Randomize
