I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
