can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
did you just send me my own nude
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
