yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
