dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
