They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
