after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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