i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All I want is dick and wine.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
