i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
