Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize