I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
