can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
