Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's the barista slut.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
