you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
