Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize