Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
