She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
