I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need to align my fucking chakras
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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