Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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