Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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