you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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