Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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