I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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