Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
