he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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