That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
