in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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