Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I will pee on everything he values.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
