Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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