I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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